


And So It Goes

by dean_n_pie



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 08:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dean_n_pie/pseuds/dean_n_pie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur go their separate ways. Modern!au, 2nd person POV, oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And So It Goes

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so, second fic, wootwoot. Written in 2nd person, which is hilarious cause i hate 2nd person. Trying out a different kind of writing style. And my Vonnegut comes out a bit. this is also a lot more discombobulated than i remembered.
> 
>  
> 
> You can have this from whoever's point of view, but I felt it was Merlin's POV.
> 
> enjoy~~

It begins as it always does.

With a pull. Then a tug. And finally, a severance.

You notice it when it begins _or maybe it was always there_ , but it doesn't really sink in until it's too late.

Because your brain, your brain is telling you 'no, it's nothing there's another reason and it's not you it could never be you he cares too much and it's not your fault this is only to be expected'.

But your heart, your heart is screaming 'he's pulling away it's your fault you must know this it's your fault how could you not have seen this coming from the beginning  
it's  
your  
 _fault'_.

Or maybe you remember incorrectly. Maybe it's the other way around. Your heart is the one refusing to accept the possibility and your brain is the one screaming the facts. Maybe it's all lies either way. Maybe it's your heart's inability to accept this _there must be another reason_ or your brain is too skeptical _your fault_ to believe much in good things.

And so it goes.

But the tugging _that painful stretch before the cut_ increases tenfold until you simply can't ignore it anymore.

But you can't risk it coming to a head because you can't know, you never want to know which part of you is right. And you're terrified it is your fault because why wouldn't it be _no it can't be there's a different reason I swear_ so you don't risk it.

And so it goes.

It eventually comes to a head, as these things do. And try as you might to avoid it, you figure out which part of you is right _no no please never wanted to know_.

But it doesn't matter, does it, because either way it's a loss and you have to watch him _and it's always on his terms always himhimhim_ walk away.

And you're frozen. Because your heart won out over your head _or was it the other way around you can't even tell anymore_ and this should feel like a victory but the pain is as resounding as a loss. And either way _it doesn't matter it doesn't it's your fault it's all your fault_ you're faced with his back and _no no please_ he's walking away.

So you turn and walk away as well. Blank. And you wonder how it got to this point _we were happy we were its all your fault your fault_ but there's nothing left, so you walk back the way you came. And you're alone with your thoughts _no please your fault doesn't matter w h y_ and you can't make heads or tails of it. But at least you know which part won.

And so it goes.


End file.
